Someone else's Shadow
by Tsuru Maiden
Summary: In their conversations, there is always someone else's shadow lingering within – "Just like him." One-sided HiroGo; Implied Tomadashi.


**Author's notes: Because two brothers and one girl don't ever end well. First time dabbling in HiroGo angst. Do leave a review and give me your thoughts about it if you have the time, and thanks so so so much for reading.**

 **Some moments might make a little more sense if you read my other Tomadashi fics, 'moments with you' and 'five times she falls', but it's not necessary (warning: shameless self-promotion!). I've included some 'explanations' at the end of the fic.**

* * *

Hiro doesn't notice it at first, but he's starting to realise that GoGo stares at him sometimes. Her eyes, usually dark and serious, have a far-away look in those moments, and sometimes, Hiro can't even tell if she's staring at him, or staring through him.

He looks behind him a few times, just for good measure. There's never anything behind him, and when he turns back, GoGo is back to being GoGo – snarking at Fred, pushing Wasabi's buttons, groaning at Honey Lemon's latest schemes – but with hidden affection that everyone recognises is there, even if she never admits it.

At first, the observation makes Hiro feel self-conscious. At second, it makes him flustered. At third, it makes him nervous because he and Fred landed a faint two inch scratch on one of her maglev discs yesterday it was an _honest accident he swears it was_ and has she found out yet?

At fourth, it makes him just a little bit comforted, because if GoGo's _staring_ at him – Well, maybe she doesn't think of him as an annoying younger brother, after all. Maybe she thinks of him as… something more.

(Hiro can dream, can't he?)

* * *

"Hey… GoGo?" It's late at night, and they're the only two people left in the lab. Hiro rises from the notes he's studying, cracking his sore neck tiredly. Wasabi is always the first to leave, followed by Fred and Honey Lemon. Like him, GoGo stays a lot later – sometimes until the wee hours of dawn. Hiro can never quite tell whether she does it to check and polish her armor and bike, or to stay with him.

(A small part of him hopes it's the latter.)

"Why do you keep staring at me?" Hiro asks. He takes in a quiet breath when GoGo's only reply is to stare blankly at him. "I mean, I know I'm good-looking..." he says it only half-jokingly, because at eighteen years of age, he's grown into a fine young man. Nearly four years of fighting crime, four years after the formation of Big Hero 6, (and four years since Tadashi is gone, though Hiro refuses to think about it) has cultivated him into a well-built and disciplined teenage prodigy whom, he'd like to admit, many girls at the University swoon and bat their eyelashes for.

"... But I'm not that good-looking," Hiro coughs as he trails off, because one does not simply compliment themselves in front of GoGo Tomago and expect to escape with their ego unscathed. He bites back a breath when GoGo narrows her eyes, only to release it silently when she sighs and rolls her dark irises affectionately. At least, Hiro thinks it's affection. He can't always tell when GoGo is truly annoyed and when she's _pretending_ to be annoyed, just so she can cover up the fact that she's actually fond of her friends. The two situations overlap far too frequently for him to discern (especially when he and Fred are involved).

"You keep telling yourself that, kid," GoGo chortles, placing her wrench down and grabbing her yellow and purple helmet. Hiro's improved it recently – gave it a more streamlined look, made it sturdier – and he watches as GoGo plunks it over her head of dark hair before striding to her motorbike. She doesn't offer him a ride home; he doesn't mind, because he's probably going to stay over for a final inspection of their gear.

"You remind me of him," GoGo says suddenly, so softly that Hiro nearly misses it. He turns in time to see her speed away – a sleek figure briefly illuminated by the lonely streetlights dotting the road – before she blurs into the darkness of the night.

(He's never been used to cryptic answers, and that comment stays in his mind even as he moves on to his next set of work.)

* * *

It's raining – heavily enough to discourage Hiro from walking home, because he has an extra important set of blueprints in his arms regarding Baymax's latest functions, and he's _not_ risking damaging them in the rain.

Hiro stares dismally at the dark sky. It's a shaded patch of grey – intermingled with inky blue streaks that tells him it's impossible to get a ride home at this hour. He's still standing at the entrance of the university – contemplating whether to wing it and run home before the rain gets heavier, or camp over at the lab – when GoGo walks up next to him and stuffs a safety helmet into his arms.

"C'mon, kid," she grunts as Hiro nearly reels back in surprise. "I'm giving you a ride home." GoGo pulls her bike closer to her and slips a helmet onto her own head as well. She grabs the blueprints from an open-mouthed Hiro, folding it neatly before stuffing it into the inner pocket of her leather jacket.

"… What?" Hiro can hear her biting down on her bubblegum while he stares at her, still surprised.

"Nothing, uh–" he stutters, trying to draw himself to his full height, even though that doesn't help in keeping a cool head. He smooths down his hoodie, still flustered, still unsure – still thinking _where does he place his hands_ – before climbing clumsily onto GoGo's bike.

"Hang on tight," GoGo instructs, and Hiro has barely contemplated where his hands are supposed to go when she speeds off and he nearly falls, wrapping his arms around her waist in a hurry.

It's one of the weirdest experiences in his life, Hiro thinks, which is strange, given the multitude of villains and trouble they've faced before. Riding a motorbike with GoGo is _nothing_ like riding a moped with Tadashi. Firstly, her waist is _tiny._ And secondly, Tadashi never smelt of coffee, oil and bubblegum – which, while gross-sounding, makes Hiro smile just a little.

And thirdly, his heart has never beaten _this_ fast on the moped.

"You okay back there?" GoGo asks abruptly, still concentrating on the road. They hit a bump, and Hiro lurches forward into her even more. "Sorry," he apologises, his voice almost a squeak, as he extracts himself hastily and tries to put as much distance between them as possible. He eventually settles for a one inch gap, given the limited space of the motorbike.

Uncharacteristically, GoGo chuckles, and Hiro feels his face flame an even brighter red. But the fact that she's laughing – well, it can't be that bad, right?

(But as Hiro tries to relax in his current position, he thinks he thinks he hears her whisper, "Just like him.")

* * *

Aunt Cass isn't home, and as GoGo pulls over at the Lucky Cat Cafe, Hiro feels unusually lonely at the sight of the empty house. He dismounts from the bike, trying not to get his legs tangled in the process, and feels a pang when he realises that GoGo's initially dry leather jacket is wet with rain.

"Do you... Do you want to come in?" Hiro asks without much thought, staring at the ground. He feels a mild sting of guilt when he sees GoGo brush droplets of water off herself. He doesn't expect an answer, doesn't expect GoGo to agree – so when she nods casually, it comes as a welcome surprise.

"Great! I mean–" Hiro fumbles for his keys. "I mean, that's good. You should dry yourself before you catch a cold." He's thankful that she doesn't catch how flustered he is.

"Make yourself at home," Hiro calls, trying to fill in the silent gaps of the house as they enter the empty cafe. "I'm going to grab a change of clothes." He thinks he should get her some too, and wonders where Aunt Cass keeps her extra shirts.

"I will, kid," GoGo drawls, half-teasing. "Don't blame me if you come back to find the kitchen trashed."

Hiro grins. With another person in the house, it no longer feels that lonely anymore.

(He tries to ignore the fact that the other person in question is GoGo Tomago, and that _that_ changes everything even though it shouldn't.)

* * *

He flicks on the lights of the room and makes his way to his wardrobe. But even after the new, clean and dry set of clothes, the temperature is lower than usual. Hiro regrets his decision to leave Baymax charging in the lab. He could use the warming function he provides.

Hiro prepares to close his wardrobe shut and leave the room. But out of his periphery, he spies a grey cardigan sticking out. It's Tadashi's; an extra lent to him somewhere in the past when they were forced to attend a hotel wedding and, quoting Aunt Cass, something "classier than a hoodie" was required. It's been ages, but Hiro manages to remember the cardigan dangling slightly above his knees, the sleeves folded thrice just for his hands to show.

He remembers looking ridiculously like an undersized shrimp, and how Tadashi spent a week assuring him he'd grow into it.

After a brief hesitance, Hiro grabs the cardigan and wraps it around himself. It fits perfectly now. The cardigan has always been Tadashi's style, but he's too cold to mind tonight. Besides, the warmth is a welcome change from the frigid biting breeze – in more ways than one.

"I got you a cup of hot chocolate t–" When Hiro reaches the kitchen, GoGo swivels around to face him, pointing at the two steaming mugs on the kitchen counter. Hiro wonders how she knew where the hot chocolate was, and is about to ask as much. But the moment GoGo sees him, she stops short.

"T–" Her eyes are wide and her breath slows. Hiro's never seen such surprise – and vulnerability – on her face before, not even in the deadliest battles when they're all caught off guard.

"GoGo?"

When he whispers her name, GoGo bites her lips so hard they look like they're almost bleeding. She exhales loudly, as controlled as she can, and hands him one of the mugs.

"Sorry, don't know what came over me." Her voice is flat, and when Hiro clumsily takes the mug and lifts his head up, GoGo's eyes are closed, and she is pinching the bridge of her nose like it can contain all the emotions pouring out of her.

It's only when he takes a quiet sip of the hot chocolate – with more milk than he'd like and expected GoGo to add, for some reason – and stares at the kitchen counter, that he realises, with his damp hair swept back, cardigan and all, that he looks uncomfortably like Tadashi.

* * *

"GOGO!" Hiro screams, urging Baymax to go faster, faster as he stretches out his arms in a desperate attempt to catch his falling teammate. He hears a bullet scream past him, hears Fred and Wasabi rain taunts and insults in an attempt to distract their newest opponent, but he is beyond caring. Despite the cacophony of the battlefield, everything dies to a numb buzz as his fingers inch closer to GoGo's arm. If he can get Baymax to swoop down, he can catch her, can cushion her fall, can save h–

A sudden projectile slams into him and he's sent reeling with Baymax. Hiro tries to ignore his splitting headache, tries to pull Baymax back to course. But GoGo is still falling at a heart-stopping speed, and Hiro doesn't think. He can't think. His mind is a useless blank slate and all he can see is GoGo before he launches himself off Baymax's back and wraps his arms around her.

They are falling, falling so fast that the world blurs in that moment and all he can think of is _please_ let his armour be strong enough to absorb the impact and please please please let her be all _right_ and–

"HIRO!"

Honey Lemon's scream is piercing and filled with horror as she pulls out fistfuls of cushioning balls in an attempt to save them.

She's barely thrown a few when a boulder nearly smashes into her shoulder, and she reels back in shock. The cushioning bombs spill out of her hand. One makes it far enough for Fred to send flying with his tail – and everyone watches with bated breath as it rolls under Hiro and GoGo.

The cushioning bomb blooms into a large blue foam, and even though it is not as extensive as Honey intended it to be, it is able to break their comrades' falls, even if only a little. Hiro grunts in pain as he shoulder sinks through the foam and hits the ground. There is a dull thud, but no crack loud enough to signal a broken bone. As Wasabi slices the villian's suit in half and knocks him out with a solid punch to his jaw (something he's been practicing, but is still reluctant in doing), everyone rushes to Hiro and GoGo's side.

GoGo is breathing too fast, her pupils dilated and streaked with fear. She gasps and claws away from Hiro's grasp, a choking mess of trauma.

"It's all right!" Hiro tries to assure her, his hands on her shoulders. "It's all right. We got you. I got you. I'm here. I'll always be here..." The words spill out of his mouth without so much of a thought because all he can think of is how he nearly _lost_ her in that span of a few seconds.

"I'll always be here for you." (1)

GoGo shudders to a halt and her breathing starts to slow as he whispers those words over and over again, softly, slowly, like it can drown out the creeping doubt in his mind.

(What if he wasn't fast enough?)

GoGo tugs off her helmet, her breaths now heavy but controlled. She stares at him, _really_ stares at him, and under the evening light, with the aftermath of a chaos surrounding them, Hiro meets her eyes and sees a sadness he cannot understand buried within.

"I need... I need space," she mutters, popping a wad of gum into her mouth. Without another word, she turns and speeds off, leaving her helmet behind, despite the fact that she's just fallen off a building while half-unconscious and nearly died. Hiro watches her go and struggles to avoid calling her back. His right shoulder aches, having taken the brunt of the impact – though thankfully, Honey's cushioning bomb has saved him from breaking it – and he tries to be happy that GoGo is all right. At least, physically.

He turns away from the figure fading into the city's skyline, and everyone, even Baymax, is still staring at him. He grins ruefully and dispatches orders to clean up.

(He wonders if they can see through his disappointment.)

* * *

Back at the University, he sees a small set of footprints leading to a quiet, isolated corner of the park nearby. At least, that's what they call the patch of greenery centered at the back of the university building. Hiro's never visited it much. It was more of Tadashi's habit.

He sees GoGo sitting down on one of the benches, hugging her knees to herself. Hiro briefly debates turning back, leaving her to be alone with her thoughts like she asked to be earlier, but his curiosity and concern wins out; he eventually walks over to take the seat next to her.

They don't say anything for a while. GoGo seems content to rest her chin on her knees, and Hiro stares at the ground in front of him, desperately searching for words to say. His shoulder still aches, even though he doesn't let on it.

"Thanks."

He nearly keels over in surprise when he hears that. Firstly, GoGo nearly never starts the conversation. Secondly, GoGo rarely thanks anyone – at least, as sincerely as this – and thirdly, GoGo's never spoken in this manner to him before.

"You're welcome?" Hiro stammers, taken aback and nervous. "I didn't actually do much, I mean, it was really Honey Lemon–"

"You jumped off Baymax's back to save me." It is a comment, a statement – one eerily devoid of emotion. GoGo's rarely emotive, but her words always hold a dry, deadpan and sarcastic quality to them. Now, they only manage to sound _empty_.

"Yea, well," Hiro swallows, feeling his face flush the familiar red it does nowadays, whenever he's around GoGo. "Not the smartest thing I did, but, well," he hesitates before soldiering on. The earlier moment has made him realise just how easy it was to lose someone he loved. Again.

"When I saw you falling, I couldn't think of anything. All I knew was that I was too slow, too slow to reach you, and by the time I pulled Baymax back into position it would have been too–"

"And I never want you to do that again."

"What?"

GoGo's tone is cold and abrupt and Hiro finally turns to stare at her. Her three-hundred and sixty degree flip in personality is confusing him. In fact, everything about her behaviour is confusing him.

"Look," she begins, squeezing her eyes shut. "I appreciate... I appreciate your care and concern. I understand why you jumped off Baymax to save me – I would have done the same for any of you–" Hiro's heart squeezes painfully at that comparison for some reason. "But it wouldn't have helped if Honey Lemon hadn't intervened, wouldn't have helped if the both of us died in the process."

There, she's said it. They could have died. The both of them. When Hiro thinks back about it, he realises he hadn't had such a close brush with death before. Not since he was a mere kid. Not since Yokai.

"Next time anything happens to anyone on the team, I need you to think analytically, calmly, and assess the situation properly. We can't let what happened today repeat itself again." For some reason, her words rub him the wrong way. It makes him feel as if _he's_ the one in the wrong, that his actions today have been more selfish than noble, were more foolish than brave.

"So, what? You're saying it's my fault I had to save you?" Hiro's words come out wrong. They're harsh and cutting, and he almost wishes GoGo would rise to the bait and snark at him with her cryptic words. So at least, he'd have a logical reason to lose his temper.

"No," she barks, though she steadfastly refuses to lose her cool. "I'm telling you not to panic the next time anyone on the team is in trouble–"

"You think it's that easy? You don't get it," Hiro snaps back, his heart beating faster. "You don't get what it was like watching you _fall_ , watching you fall to your death without being fast enough to stop you, to save you–"

Something glistens in GoGo's eyes when he says that. He wonders if they are tears. They are gone in a moment – it's always like that, as if she's hidden them from his view – and replaced with something else. Anger. Hurt.

"You think," GoGo says slowly, her words pronounced and edged like a double-bladed sword, "That I don't know what it's like to be slow? You think the reason I want to be fast is just because I like the speed?" She closes her eyes again, like it can help to contain her frustration, sucks in her breath and stands. "If you think the only reason I want to be fast is because I'm an adrenaline-junkie, then you don't know me very well, Hamada." (2)

She stalks off and, again, he doesn't go after her.

(Looking back, he thinks he should have known who it was that she was too slow to save.)

* * *

They don't talk until Honey Lemon forces them to.

It's another late night in the lab. They're at their respective tables working on their equipment, brooding and refusing to talk to each other, when Honey Lemon announces that she's going to get a cup of coffee in an overly-enthusiastic way that should have been way too obvious.

If not, the fact that Fred and Wasabi have both opted to join her should have given it away. But Hiro's too busy with researching, ignoring GoGo's presence, trying not to feel glum and crappy at the whole situation when he hears the unmistakable 'click' of a door lock.

He thinks GoGo hears it too, because she raises her head from examining her wheels, frowns, and walks to the door. When it doesn't budge, her eyes narrow.

"Honey, I know you're outside. Open the door. Now."

"No," Honey Lemon replies gently but firmly – in the way that only she can. "The both of you are not leaving this room until you talk out what's on your minds."

"There's nothing to talk about," GoGo replies shortly. "Now let me out, I need coffee too."

"I'll pass it to you once the issues' been addressed." This time, Honey Lemon allows no room for argument, and Hiro and GoGo say nothing as they listen to the sound of her receding footsteps.

An awkward silence wedges itself between them. Hiro debates whether to make the first move. As fearful as he is of invoking GoGo's wrath, he thinks the current tension between them is going to drive the team apart. That, plus the fact that almost a week of not talking has led him to realise just how much he's missed her company. She's not just the team's second-in-command. She's his confidante and closest friend.

(He does not allow himself to think of her as something more.)

"I–"

"I–"

Both of them start at the same time, and while Hiro can feel his face redden from embarrassment, he manages to laugh at the coincidence. Even GoGo cracks a grudging smile.

"I'm," he pushes on hurriedly, before he loses his nerve. "I'm sorry for what I said that night. It was hurtful and I didn't have the right." He clears his throat for good effect and fiddles with the pencil on his desk. "As the leader and strategist of the team, I did have to keep a cool head. It's my job on the team. It's just – I just lost it when I saw you in danger, and it's not right – not right for me to be reckless. It would have caused a lot more trouble for the team if I kept doing that." There, he's said it. He's spent close to a week running over her words, building on the logic behind them, and it feels good to spout out the answer.

"I should apologise too." GoGo's voice interrupts his thoughts. "I was being overly critical that day. I just don't want you to risk your life for me ever again. I mean," cue rolling of eyes, Hiro mentally monologues. "It's admirable that you were willing to die for me, I suppose," she gives a wan smile to show that she's joking, "But I'd much rather you live for me. For the team. For us. Because I don't think I can..." she pauses, an uncharacteristic sign of hesitance. "I don't want to lose anyone anymore."

He thinks this is the closest she is to being vulnerable in front of him, and when she gives him one of her renowned half-smile, one hand outstretched as a sign of truce, a sign of friendship, Hiro thinks he wants to kiss her so badly.

GoGo's bright and radiant even under the glare of the lights in the lab and as Hiro returns her smile, they spend moments staring at each other, not saying anything, but with none of the earlier awkwardness. There's a hint of something in GoGo's eyes he can't quite place and Hiro tries to say something even though his heart is thumping _too fast_ and he leans down and–

"We brought coffee!"

The spell is broken.

GoGo takes one step back, a mildly surprised look on her face, before turning to accept her coffee from Honey Lemon. Her pupils look constricted. Hiro tries not to mind, tries to laugh off the dizzying change of situation with his friends as Fred and Wasabi argue about vending machine coffee.

(All the while, he wonders about what would have happened.)

* * *

"Ready?" Hiro asks, licking his lips.

GoGo's only reply is to smirk and nod. She slips on her helmet in a fluid motion and readies her stance.

"Go!" Hiro shouts, clicking the stopwatch. Baymax waddles up to him and he shoots the nursing bot an excited grin.

GoGo speeds off, gliding up the slide in a furious streak of black and yellow. She jumps effortlessly over the fences positioned to block her at the end of the slide, and spins onto the track gracefully. Even the new miniature spikes prove little resistance to her. GoGo weaves herself between them without so much as a break of sweat.

Hiro smiles as he regards the new obstacle course with pride – something they've begun two years ago, and which he spent half a year improving recently. It's been affectionately termed 'The Playground' by Fred, and helped enormously in training their speed and reflexes. Built out of abandoned roller coaster parts, embedded with obstacles and traps that required swift but careful maneuvering; it'd be hard not to improve after going at it for a few rounds. Needless to say, it's a favourite of GoGo's.

It's starting to become a favourite of his too, Hiro thinks, as he watches the woman in the yellow armour dominate the entire obstacle course despite the new challenges he's added. When GoGo pulls to a stop at the end – leaving a familiar set of skid marks on the ground – she tugs off her helmet, her dark hair damp with sweat, panting from the exertion.

It's evening time, and while the sunset doesn't illuminate her hair into an even brighter gold than before like Honey's, it hits her armour, reflecting her blinding confidence, amplifying the sheer exhilaration of her face as the adrenaline spreads through her system. Despite her fatigue, GoGo looks every part a hero and warrior under the light of the sun, and Hiro thinks it's an equally – if not, even more – beautiful scene.

The armour, he means. The improved armour that GoGo uses so well.

(He pulls Baymax away before he can say anything about his increased heartbeat.)

* * *

Today marks the one thousand, four hundred and sixth day since Tadashi's death.

Hiro doesn't count. He's stopped counting since the formation of Big Hero 6. But the knowledge is always at the back of his mind, tucked away in a remote corner. It's like a scrap of paper torn out from a notebook, buried under new inventions and strategies and equipment–

He sees the grave.

Sometimes, he comes with GoGo, Honey, Wasabi and Fred. Most of the time, he comes alone. Hiro remembers telling the dull and ugly slate (which does the bright and burning memory of Tadashi no justice) the events which unfolded following the discover of a single microbot and Baymax's appearance, the battle between them (now officially the Big Hero 6) and Callaghan, the way Baymax's eyes glowed a bright and raw red when he nearly took the enemy's life under Hiro's command, the subsequent rescue of Abigail, and news about the Tadashi Hamada Hall. Hiro remembers talking and talking and talking until he runs out of words (because conversations don't last that long when the other party's not talking back) and he's left sitting in front of the grave stone, placing his forehead gently on the slate of grey.

"I miss you, Tadashi," he remembers whispering, and he repeats it over and over – until it merges into a warm and comforting mantra that leaves him both strangely hollowed and relieved.

He's getting closer to the grave.

Hiro brought stuff from the Nerd Lab today. Honey Lemon's brownies, Fred's magazine, and a few of his belongings. Ones that held secret meanings and inside jokes that only his brother would understand.

But there's already someone sitting there.

For a while, Hiro thinks that he has the wrong grave. Usually, no one's around when he visits Tadashi's grave – which may or may not be attributed to the fact that he comes at two in the morning. But either way, he feels his breath slowing painfully when he realises the seated figure has short and choppy hair.

With a purple streak in it.

"... GoGo?" Hiro calls out hesitantly, pausing a distance away. He's still half convinced that he's at the wrong location, until he sees the figure stiffen with a sharp breath, standing up so abruptly that he steps back in reflex. Said figure pinches the bridge of her nose and runs her hand across her eyes, and as Hiro starts to approach the grave haltingly, his heart sinks. It's her. Windswept hair, flushed cheeks, and suspiciously red eyes.

"Do… Do you come here often?" It's weird, Hiro thinks. There are so many things he wants to say, so many things he wants to ask ( _Why are you here now? Do you visit the grave on other occasions? Why didn't you ask to come with me?_ ), all of which are confused, and when he thinks about it, selfish.

Instead, he looks around, spies the familiar mixture of skid marks and tiny footprints on the ground, recalls her reaction to the idea of not being fast enough to save someone, to her extreme reluctance to lose anyone else; the haunting sadness in her eyes he cannot understand whenever she _looks_ at him, and – everything clicks like all the missing puzzle pieces have finally lined up.

"You…" Hiro swallows and wonders why his heart stings. "You loved him. Tadashi."

GoGo stiffens and says nothing. And in the silence, Hiro finds a far stronger answer than a 'yes'.

She places her pale slender fingers on the grave, and her eyes are the softest Hiro has ever seen – far gentler than the dark, brooding look she always has. Four years of knowing her, of fighting by her side, of patching her up when she got hurt, and this, is still the most vulnerable she's ever been in front of him. It's nothing compared to their exchange at the Nerd Lab back then, when he foolishly tried to kiss her. He thinks it's only ever around when things are related to Tadashi.

"He understood," she finally whispers, breaking the brittle silence of the night, her eyes soft and radiant and sad and bright with unshed tears all at the same time. "He understood and he made me smile. He... Taught me how to slow down–" Hiro's heart gives a dull jolt when he realises one of the only things he ever taught GoGo was how to go even faster. "And see the world as it was. He made me _happy_."

The world is quiet at the moment, the sounds of traffic and people dying to a soft buzz in the background. Hiro swallows – once, twice, thrice, and suddenly, he is choking for air, choking on tears and the queer sting in his heart – and GoGo is there, with her arms around him, and he is crying.

"I'm sorry," his voice cracks. "I'm sorry, I just–" He tries to rub a hand across his eyes but GoGo only hugs him tighter, until he can feel her care (and love, so, so painfully platonic) for him seeping into his bones like an old, soothing medicine.

"I miss him too," GoGo whispers, her voice unusually thick. "I see him whenever I look at you and–" She takes a deep, painful breath and everything makes sense even though it hurts. All the little things, like how she knew where the hot chocolate in the house was, why she made it with more milk – the way Tadashi would have liked it – the reaction she had when he had worn a cardigan, his awkward actions that were not unlike his older brother.

The way she whispered "Just like him" when she thinks he isn't listening. The way she looked at him sometimes and saw someone else's shadow.

It's funny how it is GoGo that has to look up now – a stark contrast to their height difference four years ago in that faithful moment he nearly took someone's life – as she presses her chin into his shoulders and strokes his hair. It's love, Hiro knows, so why does it hurt so badly? For the second time, he lets go, and sobs and sobs and doesn't tell GoGo that it's not the only reason he's crying.

(He thinks she may have figured it out somewhere along the lines – maybe long before even he himself realised – and maybe, maybe that's what hurts the most.)

* * *

(1) - In my first Tomadashi fic, 'five times she falls', Tadashi's words were "I'll always be there for you" and I thought it'd be appropriate (and angsty) to make a parallel moment, and for those to be the words that were needed to calm GoGo down.

(2) - If you read 'moments with you', my second Tomadashi fic (see my shameless self-promotion? Haha, just joking, my bad) includes GoGo calling Tadashi by his last time. Since that story takes place chronologically before this, I thought it'd be an interesting moment.


End file.
